Consensual Hugs

By Theia. 

In France they do a thing called an une bis. That’s when they kiss you on both cheeks to say hello. They do it at informal occasions like parties to people they know or have just been introduced to by a mutual friend. Imagine that you’re in France and for every person you meet, you have to kiss them on both cheeks. Some will have a kick out of this, but for the more shy or reserved people, think how stressful it is to do something so foreign and unnatural.

For me, the midwest is my France. But instead of doing the une bis, they do hugs. Do I put my arms around their waist or over their shoulders? Do I do it sash style where one arm is above the shoulder and one arm is below? How long do you hold the hug? Can there be space between you and the other person? How tight do I squeeze? We’re still hugging? Are they feeling my boobs? Do I put my cheek against theirs? Who releases from the hug first? Do I pat them on the back?

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